Being Older Scares Me

Seriously, this thought depressed me. It’s not about getting old, it’s about how fast this all happened.ย  I can still taste mom’s fried chicken that she used to pack for my lunch during my elementary school days… the embotidos and hamonados on Christmas parties… I can still smell the scent of the purse she’s given me in one of my kiddie birthday parties. It smells like synthetic leather!

How can I be 46 in ten years?

Time flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it; but it depresses me to look through the years that have gone by. Where have all the years gone? I should have made the years count and matter more.

Now I know why my mom some years back had this mortality issues as well, perhaps that’s during the same time she’s begun realizing the speed of time just like the way I am feeling now. I truly hope for the time to slow down. I love living so much that it scares me to lose everything that makes my life worth living!

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At the end of the day, I still remind myself that I live not for my own happiness but to fulfill the commandments of the Lord. I should be living for HIS glory and honor! Indeed, all these are accessories to our existence because we are created for a purpose that is to serve God.

Now that I am starting to realize, perhaps it’s time to live more for the ultimate purpose.